Stuffy Old Men Named Jeeves Are Not The Best Butlers

We have a lot to learn from those who make our lives feel luxurious.

A while back I read an indulgent article about airline butlers. I didn’t even know such things existed. Who knew so much was going on in the sky?

Reading it brought me back to a time when I was fortunate enough to live an indulgent lifestyle through my travel writing career.

By far, the highlight of that job was reviewing luxury accommodations. It allowed me to see how the other half live without paying the extravagant price tag, as explained in this post:

If Your Hotel Isn't FREE, You're Paying Too Much

Of all the luxury properties I’ve had the privilege of reviewing, two stand out the most because they included the use of my own personal butlers.

But what does one even do with a butler if they’re not a snooty, rich person who would pay for a butler? The lifestyle seems utterly ridiculous….unless you’re the type who can bring it down a notch and appreciate them as the human beings they are.

My first pair of butlers.

Curtis and Philip came as a round-the-clock duo. One worked the day shift and one, the night shift. They were my constant companions at a Sandals resort in Montego Bay, Jamaica.

Upon checking into the property I was given a cell phone with a direct line to both butlers. I quickly named it ‘the but-phone.’

I’m not sure how other people behave in a Sandals resort, but I’m not the type who’s up and at ’em at 6 a.m. However, Philip, my daytime butler was. I feel like my room had hidden cameras because each morning when I’d open my door, there he stood like a statue, silver platter in hand, with fresh fruit juice.

How did he know?

Each morning Philip would also let me know that my beach chair was reserved and ready for the day. Sure enough, when I arrived at the beach there was a lounge chair with a rolled-up towel and my name on it.

It was almost as if Philip was hiding behind a tree waiting for my grand entrance to the beach because as soon as I took up residency on that lounger he appeared out of nowhere with a blended umbrella drink on his silver platter.

I mean, didn’t he have any other guests to cater to?

The dude was giving Mr. Deeds vibes, swooping in out of thin air.

Image by author.

The awkwardness of having butlers at my disposal 24/7 prompted me to start making up lame reasons to call them, just to make them feel useful.

One evening I used the but-phone to request a walking companion to dinner. Of course, Curtis was charmed to escort me considering Sandals is a couples-only resort. I’m sure he didn’t get many opportunities to accompany a single lady.

That night, when I returned from dinner and entered my room I nearly fell over.

The entire room was strewn with red rose petals.

A towel-dog wearing sunglasses rested on the bed guarding a decadent plate of strawberry cheesecake.

The exact moment I made the discovery, my but-phone rang. It was Curtis calling to see how I loved my surprise.

He must have been hiding behind that tree again.

Believe me, I indulged that night. I slept among red rose petals feeling all Pretty Woman lying on a bed of dollar bills. I couldn’t let Curtis’s efforts go to waste.

I sort of resented the idea of having a butler because I didn’t love that their job was to serve me. It felt a bit deep-south considering the racial difference. So, I asked Philip if we could hang out as equals sometime, outside of the resort.

Of course, they’re not allowed to mingle with registered guests so after I checked out of the resort I made arrangements for him to come pick me up on a Sunday morning.

Philip and I drove into his little community in rural Jamaica to attend church that Sunday morning. I learned that he’s a drummer in his church band and his wife leads the choir.

I never clapped and sang so joyously in my life as I did that morning in church. Meeting his wife, children, and community friends was a beautiful affair and seeing him outside of his job was amazing.

I wondered if any other guests ever had a desire to know their butlers outside of the resort. I doubt it.

Butler #3

My next experience with a personal butler came many years after the first one, and it was a much more intimate experience.

I was asked to review a private villa in the isolated area of Portland, Jamaica. It was a magnificent oceanfront, six-bedroom villa that I would enjoy all to myself.

San Bar Villa, Portland, Jamaica

Arriving at the beautiful property mid-afternoon, I knew there would be a housekeeper because I’d spoken with her on the phone earlier. When I arrived she gave me a full property tour for review purposes, then left me alone to get settled in.

Upon entering the kitchen to grab some water, I came across a young man wearing a polo shirt branded with the villa name. He immediately introduced himself as Andre…the chef.

I now had a housekeeper and a personal chef. 😳

Andre and I chatted for a minute before I turned to exit the kitchen when suddenly another young man swooped in (Mr. Deeds again). He extended his hand to shake mine, and cheerfully said, “Hi, I’m Glendon!”

He also wore a branded polo shirt so I ignorantly asked, “And who might you be?”

He eagerly replied, “I’m your butler!”

I still laugh to myself over the introduction because I distinctly remember asking, “Come on! How many more of you are there?”

The villa staff insisted that they were at my service for the duration and that I should get used to it. They had living quarters on the property so they were there to stay.

It didn’t take long for me to tell them, “Let’s get something straight. I’m not like the average guests you might get here. I’m very low maintenance and super chill so please, feel free to be yourselves and let’s just have some fun with this.”

From that point on it seemed as though my staff and I had an understanding. They dropped the facade without shirking on their duties, we had the villa sound system blasting throughout my entire stay, and they invited their local friends over each night for some real local flavor.

We became friends instead of servants and master.

What I learned from spending time with butlers.

First and foremost, I learned that professional butlers are meticulously educated through the Guild of Professional English Butlers and it’s an esteemed career choice.

Learning this instantly made it feel less deep-south and far more intentional.

What my butlers learned from me is that not all seemingly highfalutin tourists from abroad only show up to be served. They also learned that a well-known travel writer will indeed compose a white-hot review based on their human qualities over their job requirements.

I learned that a butler will spend hours upon hours with you in the villa gazebo after dark, keeping you company into the wee hours while you watch magical stingrays glide through calm waters below you.

He will notice each time your glass is empty and fetch your refills of rum and coke but you will also get a spearfishing demo while you’re out there.

Image by author. The gazebo at the villa.

I learned that if your butler knows you’re at the villa to write a review, he will become your ally and introduce you to every business in the vicinity as a “journalist.” He’ll do all the talking for you.

This comes in handy for obtaining complimentary drinks and free admission into local attractions because you’re a ‘very important guest.’ His branded uniform only adds to your credibility.

As someone who travels alone, having a butler double as a personal photographer is awesome! I never get pictures of myself doing cute things like sitting on over-water swings.

Our villa is off in the background and we are on that tiny island in one of the photos above.

Your butler most certainly DOES NOT laugh at you when you fall on your ass while trying to get out of a rocking boat. He graciously helps you get back up and makes you feel like anyone would have fallen, not just you.

On road trips, he’ll advise you to stop in at unique and different places, which could turn into your next accommodation review. Yes, this actually happened. Glendon and I stopped to check out a brand new hotel in the area which resulted in meeting the owner and securing yet another review opportunity.

Last but not least, I learned that if you treat your butler like a human instead of a butler, you’ll enjoy many magical moments under the guise of having a butler.

Chilling in a private boat on the world-famous Blue Lagoon was certainly one of those magical, memorable moments.

Glendon and I are on the private villa boat in Blue Lagoon.

We should all be fortunate enough to recognize that people choose to work in the service industry for a reason — to make our lives feel luxurious.

For those of us who do recognize it? We get to experience the richness of the human spirit.

Have you ever had the luxury of experiencing a butler in your travels?

When you go on vacation are you mindful of the people who are employed to make your life better?

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