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Sue Ferrera's avatar

Wow, that's a crazy story!

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Jules Torti's avatar

Funny, I was just reading about Pamela Anderson's marriages. Kim and I found ourselves temporarily sucked into her new series, Pamela's Garden of Eden, and were wondering who 'the kids' belonged to. Brandon Thomas Lee and Dylan Jagger Lee are from her Tommy Lee era.

My aunt married a camel herder from Egypt back in the 80s in similar fashion. I wonder what the stats are on this? Secret, no doubt. Now I have something new to wonder about---thanks!

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

She married a camel herder from Egypt….now there is a sentence you won’t hear twice in one lifetime 😂

I bet there are a LOT of secrete marriages that never came to light because of how brief they were…or how VEGAS they were lol.

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Jules Torti's avatar

I think we both probably say and write a lot of sentences that have never been heard (or thought of) before! Kim and I actually both know two women (lesbians) who married men for immigration purposes back in the day. There's a documentary in there somewhere!

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

As a non-lesbian, I'd marry a woman if it would help her out of a jam or into a better situation. However, I learned that being married in general - if you're not actually "with" the person - can really mess up your tax status so there would have to be some compensation involved lol. When I was married to Frederick, I lost a lot of my single parent benefits, yet I was still a single parent.

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Jules Torti's avatar

Semi-related---in Spain and Portugal, many of the hotels offered "matrimonial beds." Made me snicker every time and often, when we requested one, there were eyebrows. "Estas segura?"

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Soooo...is that just a double bed? Or a "dirty" bed? 🤣

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Jennie O'Connor ❌👑's avatar

This is freaking WILD, Kristi! I am secretly married, we never made it to the real wedding, and we never got divorced because it was expensive and why, since we have remained best friends for the past 11 years. My mom still does not know. I feel like she may one day find out by reading something I’ve written here, but that would involve her reading something I’ve written here. 🤣🤣🤣

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Omg isn't this like the hundredth thing we've done exactly the same in life? Isn't it you where we keep discovering weird similarities?

This could get dangerous 😆😆

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Jennie O'Connor ❌👑's avatar

Haha yes I’m beginning to think we’re twins separated at birth.

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

I need to call my mom and clarify some things 😆

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Kim Kimberlin's avatar

What an absolutely fantastic story. And I'm glad it ended with you still being able to "borrow the sugar" from one another, hypothetically speaking.

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Teehee...I'm glad at least one person picked up on that. Although we couldn't be further from being neighbors 🙁

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Oluwatobiloba's avatar

Another banger! This is wild omg🤣

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Hahaha hence the name of my Substack 😂😂😂

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Deanna Thomas's avatar

I love you! What a fantastic story! The biggest smile I've had today so give deep thanks for that! 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Hahaha I’m so glad you like it 😁 It makes me smile just as much as you~!

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Liya Marie's avatar

Wow! Inspiring in a way…kinda surprised you guys didn’t give it a second shot? Regardless, great story!

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Liya, a lot of life happened for both of us (separately) over the years. Second shots weren't really presented.

But hey! We're still friends and that's valuable to me 😊

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Liya Marie's avatar

Totally understandable! And good friendships are hard to come by so hey, overall win.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

I can't believe it took til now for you to write about this?!!? This is the best story ever and I love your dress and the engagement picture.

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Thanks Donna!

My marriage/divorce is one of my favorite life stories ever 😊 And I seriously wish I had another occasion for the dress because I still love it.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Visualize wearing the dress! You never know what might show up in your future. Maybe someday there will be Substack Awards (like the Academy Awards) and you'll be up there receiving your gold trophy and need a fancy dress!

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Ha!!! This made me laugh but also....can you imagine? 🤣

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Dr. Sophie Keller PhD's avatar

Love this - there's still time... both older, wiser - really connected. get on extremely well.... I mean the main thing in a marriage I think is friendship. Oli and I have been married over 20 - my mum and dad over 60 - I think this door is wide open... it's whether you both want to step through it...

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Sophie, I've been waiting for your response! And I do agree with you: Our communication nowadays just hits differently. We're both more mature and have lots more life experience. Who knows what the future holds for anyone? At the very least, Frederick and I will always be friends. At this stage in life, nobody has the power to piss me off anymore 😂

PS: Special cheers to your parents...60 years is amazing!!!

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Dr. Sophie Keller PhD's avatar

I am watching this space and whether he serves to open you up to someone new or you both are new together only time will tell.

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Anne Marie Bell's avatar

Fantastic tale! And now I'm a little sad it didn't work out... you sounded like a lovely couple!

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Awww well you never know what the future will hold for two single oldies 😁 If there's ever a reunion I'll definitely be writing about it.

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Anne Marie Bell's avatar

Yeah!

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Oliver Romsen's avatar

That pregnancy test prank was brutal! 😂

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

🤣🤣 It was more puzzling than anything because....HOW??!!

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Teyani Whitman's avatar

Oh Kristi. What a tale.

Your heart full of mirth as you share this tale…. Tho I’m pretty sure there’s more to it all than has been shared. ❤️‍🩹

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Thanks Teyani. And there's really only a little bit more to it, like the reason we didn't work out. I just chalk it up to him being 8 years younger. Back then an 8 year difference is significant in important ways. I was a parent and he wasn't (yet). My priorities were significantly different.

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Tracy Lewis-Currie's avatar

This is good story telling...you had me all the way.

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Thanks so much Tracy! I'm glad you enjoyed it 😊

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Erik Hogan's avatar

OMG Kristi! I've never met ANYONE with as many quirky life stories and crazy adventures as you! Hilarious and totally 'Wildhood!"

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Lol Erik! I'll take that as a compliment 😁😁

And these are only the stories I can actually tell online. There's a whole other side of my life (not so fun and uplifting) that will probably never make it onto a page but they're still awesome, jaw dropping, or not mine to tell.

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Erik Hogan's avatar

Amazing! And it was absolutely intended as a compliment! 😁

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Nancy Hesting's avatar

So funny.

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Beata Bernina's avatar

You’re so hilarious! I love this story because I have similar beginning with my story: shotgun wedding for immigration papers, only 4 people attended (us, justice of the peace, witness/photographer). The difference, we’re still married 29 years later. Thank you for inspiring me to look back. A post may come out of this.

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Awww that's so awesome!!!!! I'm happy for you two. If you ever do write the post, please tag me so i can read it 😊

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