I wonder why we are so quick to admit to EVERY sin except envy. People admit to doing, thinking and feeling the most awful things, but being envious seems like the one true taboo. You're brave for admitting this and I think so many people can secretly relate. I definitely can!
I’m ridiculously jealous that Elizabeth Gilbert got to be where she is from (my view) Eat Pray Love. I’d like to believe she ruined Bali because of that book but of course that’s not true. I met her at a reading on her early days of promoting the book. She was just a writer doing a very personal thing on those trips. She didn’t mastermind the huge change that happened in Bali. I’m still working on this ugly thing in me. Jealousy is a nasty beast.
Beata, it's interesting that you mention her because my 15 years with Jamaica was my own version of Eat, Pray, Love (without the love part). I believe many of us live similar versions of it...we just never write the book or get the movie deal.
It’s very understandable that we sometimes need to go away to “find” ourselves and discover things in the world. The longest I’ve done was only three months. It gave me space to get enough clarity to come back home happy.
Maybe not worth the energy but we don’t know what we don’t know and we learned best from experience. I think the fact that you got yourself here now is a great thing. With that experience you get to share your wisdom with us. I appreciate this article so much. Thank you for being in this space.
This is a good read. I too once operated from a space of envy, but I know NOW that when I am operating from the light, there's nobody that can touch me. Why? My source is abundant.
Like those women who copied YOU, even if they were copying WORD FOR WORD, they're always dependent on you for their next move. Same with anyone copying strategy.
It is TRUE that "success leaves clues." Every successful person copies. It's ALSO true that everyone must operate from their internal compass an uniqueness. Both are true.
If one is dependent on another to give the prescription, that person won't succeed. And, that person probably will tire before the 10,000 hour mark. (Like those women)
Envy is the result of not embodying the light that is rightfully yours. When you're in the light, it doesn't matter if every AI in the universe copies you and mass distributes- YOU are source and you will never run out of anything you need. It's a direct connection to the well.
So... fuck em.
Was the Haterade worth it? Seems by the comments on this post it was. People are getting value from the ripples. So.. of course!
Andee, thanks for your awesome thoughts and input into this. I think we all struggle from time to time. And you're SO correct, nothing is new, we're all copying something or someone. But what is unique about what each of us do is US. Nobody can do the thing identically and that thought is comforting.
I’ve had some pukey moments on Substack. If we let it linger it can make you question your reality!
If we feel left out - we can lean into making our own community
If we feel our numbers will never grow - we can lean into enjoying the journey
If we feel like others get more attention - we can lean into being happy for them and know that we don’t know the full picture of how they got there or what’s going on in there life
Ooh girl I feel this!! Your radical vulnerability in this piece made me feel less alone and embarrassed of my own envy. Thanks for that generous gift.
I think of envy as emotional resource guarding - when we feel like we won’t have enough (food, water, shelter, success, love, etc), we become protective of what we have and afraid of those who might take it. I agree with Jennifer above - self-compassion is the antidote to envy. I often say to myself, “I have enough, I am enough, and I’m right where I’m supposed to be at this moment.” It helps…sometimes 😂
Wonderful story. Thx for sharing. I used to have that envy gene. If it creeps in I can usually snag it and blow it away like a dandelion. Mine was mostly actress envy— the gals who booked parts that of course I should have gotten.
I've always been an oddball, not really wanting what others had to begin with. But I think maybe it manifests differently for me. It turns inward. When I'm around someone with self-confidence who isn't full of themselves, or who can speak with apparent ease in front of a small crowd... instead of feeling jealous, I feel disappointed in myself. Because I've tried, many times and in different ways, to attain that, but never got anywhere. So in my self-talk, it sounds like this: I'm a really smart person, why can't I learn this??
Thank you for sharing your inner world with us so candidly, Kristi! You bring voice to thoughts and feelings that we have all had in our journeys with such candor and humility. A deep bow and a lotus for you and your evolution 🙏🪷
If confession is good for the soul, Kristi, yours should be shining. Seriously, recognizing when our small/false/ego self has gotten the better of us (and it happens to ALL of us) is the key to growth. So good on you, kid. Go forth and sin no more ;-)
Yes envy is a sin, but you recognized it and moved past it! Yours is the second post in a row this morning that I've read that seems to have been “looking over my shoulder” as I did my Bible study! You condemning yourself for the sin of envy, and another learning not to let hateful language come out of her mouth anymore. Living -in other words- for the Glory of God! That's exactly what my Bible study was about this morning taken from Ephesians. Great job!
I appreciate your courage. You painted an exact picture of what envy feels like and how it manifests itself. I’ve fought it too. It’s always hiding in the shadows waiting to pounce. Maybe casting light on it can eradicate it quicker.
I wonder why we are so quick to admit to EVERY sin except envy. People admit to doing, thinking and feeling the most awful things, but being envious seems like the one true taboo. You're brave for admitting this and I think so many people can secretly relate. I definitely can!
Sascha, I think you're right that most of us can secretly relate. It's a tough one to admit!
I’m ridiculously jealous that Elizabeth Gilbert got to be where she is from (my view) Eat Pray Love. I’d like to believe she ruined Bali because of that book but of course that’s not true. I met her at a reading on her early days of promoting the book. She was just a writer doing a very personal thing on those trips. She didn’t mastermind the huge change that happened in Bali. I’m still working on this ugly thing in me. Jealousy is a nasty beast.
Beata, it's interesting that you mention her because my 15 years with Jamaica was my own version of Eat, Pray, Love (without the love part). I believe many of us live similar versions of it...we just never write the book or get the movie deal.
It’s very understandable that we sometimes need to go away to “find” ourselves and discover things in the world. The longest I’ve done was only three months. It gave me space to get enough clarity to come back home happy.
Maybe not worth the energy but we don’t know what we don’t know and we learned best from experience. I think the fact that you got yourself here now is a great thing. With that experience you get to share your wisdom with us. I appreciate this article so much. Thank you for being in this space.
Aww thank you for such kind comments. I appreciate you right back, love this community ❤️
I appreciate your candor. Thanks for the humorous take on your picture. Made by day a little more fun.
Hahaha it's my pleasure Janet!
This is a good read. I too once operated from a space of envy, but I know NOW that when I am operating from the light, there's nobody that can touch me. Why? My source is abundant.
Like those women who copied YOU, even if they were copying WORD FOR WORD, they're always dependent on you for their next move. Same with anyone copying strategy.
It is TRUE that "success leaves clues." Every successful person copies. It's ALSO true that everyone must operate from their internal compass an uniqueness. Both are true.
If one is dependent on another to give the prescription, that person won't succeed. And, that person probably will tire before the 10,000 hour mark. (Like those women)
Envy is the result of not embodying the light that is rightfully yours. When you're in the light, it doesn't matter if every AI in the universe copies you and mass distributes- YOU are source and you will never run out of anything you need. It's a direct connection to the well.
So... fuck em.
Was the Haterade worth it? Seems by the comments on this post it was. People are getting value from the ripples. So.. of course!
Andee, thanks for your awesome thoughts and input into this. I think we all struggle from time to time. And you're SO correct, nothing is new, we're all copying something or someone. But what is unique about what each of us do is US. Nobody can do the thing identically and that thought is comforting.
Thank you for sharing your human-ness!
I’ve had some pukey moments on Substack. If we let it linger it can make you question your reality!
If we feel left out - we can lean into making our own community
If we feel our numbers will never grow - we can lean into enjoying the journey
If we feel like others get more attention - we can lean into being happy for them and know that we don’t know the full picture of how they got there or what’s going on in there life
Every single point you've made is such sage advice. We do have choices and in lifting each other up, it always comes back to us somehow. ❤️
Ooh girl I feel this!! Your radical vulnerability in this piece made me feel less alone and embarrassed of my own envy. Thanks for that generous gift.
I think of envy as emotional resource guarding - when we feel like we won’t have enough (food, water, shelter, success, love, etc), we become protective of what we have and afraid of those who might take it. I agree with Jennifer above - self-compassion is the antidote to envy. I often say to myself, “I have enough, I am enough, and I’m right where I’m supposed to be at this moment.” It helps…sometimes 😂
Emotional resource guarding is a brillliant way of putting it (because of course we have to put dogs into the mix 😂)
We ARE enough!
My mission in life is to make everything about dogs 😂
Amen to that sister!!! Taking over the world one dogstack at a time 😁
Wonderful story. Thx for sharing. I used to have that envy gene. If it creeps in I can usually snag it and blow it away like a dandelion. Mine was mostly actress envy— the gals who booked parts that of course I should have gotten.
Of course you should've 😊 It's hard not to feel the envy, that's for sure.
Your sunset photo with the back boob and block butt----it reminded me of the old woman/young woman optical illusion. https://www.livescience.com/63645-optical-illusion-young-old-woman.html
Ha! I remember those illusion drawings! They're so bizarre and confusing!
I've always been an oddball, not really wanting what others had to begin with. But I think maybe it manifests differently for me. It turns inward. When I'm around someone with self-confidence who isn't full of themselves, or who can speak with apparent ease in front of a small crowd... instead of feeling jealous, I feel disappointed in myself. Because I've tried, many times and in different ways, to attain that, but never got anywhere. So in my self-talk, it sounds like this: I'm a really smart person, why can't I learn this??
Thank you for sharing your inner world with us so candidly, Kristi! You bring voice to thoughts and feelings that we have all had in our journeys with such candor and humility. A deep bow and a lotus for you and your evolution 🙏🪷
Good writing as always,...and honest! It's not easy to "come clean" with our faults.
You're right about that!
If confession is good for the soul, Kristi, yours should be shining. Seriously, recognizing when our small/false/ego self has gotten the better of us (and it happens to ALL of us) is the key to growth. So good on you, kid. Go forth and sin no more ;-)
I feel anointed now 😁
Then my work here is done. Gonna hoist up my celestial robes and go eat a donut.
Yes envy is a sin, but you recognized it and moved past it! Yours is the second post in a row this morning that I've read that seems to have been “looking over my shoulder” as I did my Bible study! You condemning yourself for the sin of envy, and another learning not to let hateful language come out of her mouth anymore. Living -in other words- for the Glory of God! That's exactly what my Bible study was about this morning taken from Ephesians. Great job!
I appreciate your courage. You painted an exact picture of what envy feels like and how it manifests itself. I’ve fought it too. It’s always hiding in the shadows waiting to pounce. Maybe casting light on it can eradicate it quicker.
Oh I have been there too!