Thank you for this. I’ve been rereading my journals from 7 years ago as part of a project. It’s amazing to see how often I wrote (in my journal) about starting/writing a blog. And yet, it took me another 6 years to even start. After reading your post I realize it likely was from some idea that I needed to do it a certain way (the “right way”) vs sharing my passion out in the open. Even though at the time I had nothing that I needed to build an audience for, I was making it about those imaginary people and not me.
Oh Maghan, that's interesting you were creating an audience in your heard before even starting your blog. I think lots of people get stuck in that same spot. They wonder "What would the people want to read?" rather than just writing what they want and letting the audience like it or leave it.
I so appreciate your honesty, humility, and horror (rightfully so) and just a straight up inside peek into that side of the influencer business. I try to remind myself every time I choose NOT to post on Instagram that I have that choice because it’s not the lifeblood of my business. All jobs have trade offs, especially the unintentional ones!
Thanks for sharing this perspective. I'm feeling called to share my travel experiences and yet I can feel a heavy resistance. I think this is one of my fears. I know that I need to set some strong boundaries. Did you ever make a digital product to direct questions to?
Yes, eventually I made MANY things to direct them. It took a few years to figure it all out but I ended up turning all of my experiences into a pretty awesome business and lifestyle with many sources of income. I'm actually putting together a resource now for others to use.
Maybe you're just too approachable! Thanks for sharing this perspective, it's so interesting. I traveled for years and apart from a few group emails, all my notes went into personal journals and photos into albums (some on Facebook, but I don't have any Facebook friends I haven't met at least once).
Not sure if it's better - sometimes it feels a bit selfish not to share, or self-indulgent maybe. But it's different.
Now I pull out the stories for Substack once in a while, which is also probably self-indulgent, but maybe they're interesting to someone else...
I guess if I was blogging every step of the way, there are many things I wouldn't have done, even if I'm willing to tell the stories now?
Haha Shoni, I think that statement should be the other way around. You can blog every step of the way and do questionable things but never tell anyone 😁 I was far from "behaved" in my travels. I just never shared most of that lol.
I can imagine it was hard. I am a traveller, but usually stay in the new country for a long time. A serial local, if you will 😉 This part: "and we both understood how lonely it can be living in a different country." resonated with me. I wrote about it a few weeks ago, but in the context of being self-employed. Loneliness is a killer!
Maggie, thanks for your insight. If you're a serial mover I bet it's even more difficult that just moving to a new place once. At least when I moved, my neighbor was also an expat. But you keep moving. That sounds like an awesome habit but I understand the loneliness factor.
This one resonated with me loud and clear! I knew I was outta my “living a good life” place when every moment was spent looking around for blog photo possibilities. Yuck
Up to a point, my knitting and fiber blog served its purpose… I was alone in a new town, and didn’t know how to meet others with similar interests. I began a knitting blog, and began connecting with people from all over the US. It was fun! Until it wasn’t.
I’ve taken all that down off line now, just tossed it away. I’m still close friends with a few people I met then, and I’m grateful for that.
Sounds like we had similar journeys. I sold my trade name and all the socials with it, and currently live a normal life lol. But I still have many of my online friends I met along the way!
As a performer, I am constantly asked how’d I “get this gig” and how I “sing like that.”
When I tell the truth, most people run… or laugh. Or ask for lessons lol.
The amount of hours and money and lessons and study and networking I have done and do (by the way it’s not enough) is more than most people could ever understand.
I so totally understand what you mean.
Also, I must admit I do like the “journey” to the “destination”.
The hours of study, the money pit of gear, the set lists and endless learning of new songs.
Even with blogging I enjoy the research and writing and photography and the backend tech stuff and def social media, too.
Sometimes I think the career in the arts set me up perfectly for this version of work, too.
You know what? I loved the journey as well. Still do. I sometimes surprise myself at what I'm willing to figure out just to see if I can. Also, you blow me away daily with the stuff you know. YOu're a fountain!
I really enjoy reading your personal side of things, Kristi. There is definitely a line between connecting with an author/blogger/traveler and they way some people think you are fair game for helping them out, each one, individually. Though I think this says a LOT about how people connect with your writing!
You're right on both points. Of course it's flattering but also overwhelming.
I tried thinking of it from their perspective...they probably thought they were the only one to ever email a question. So, I'd frequently reply and gently let them know that I've had 29 other emails the same day and I can't possibly answer them all. Ugh...I used to feel like such a shithead for rejecting them.
Yo, I get it. The side of my career I don't talk about as much on here (yet?) is my work as a publisher. People will send me unsolicited manuscripts all the time. (And clearly didn't see, or ignored, the "no unsolicited submissions" part of the site.) I feel like a shithead rejecting them too. It only works a teeny little bit to remind myself that I didn't ask them to send me their stuff in the first place.
Deanna's post also resonated with me for exactly the same reason. People wanted my knowledge of living in Costa Rica and what I knew (as if I was their travel agent!). As a very giving person, I was happy to provide. But it took up a lot of my time and after a while, I felt a little 'used' that they didn't even consider coming to my hotel, etc. 😞
I blogged (voluntarily, i.e., for no compensation) for an international volunteer organization from 2009-2014. Like you Kristi, my intent was to be an educator, to open a window on global issues affecting women and girls and what we could do to address them. I wanted to influence the awareness and choices of my readers regarding those issues, but I had zero desire to be an "influencer" as it's defined today.
I still don't have that desire. Now, as then, my Substack is focused on education and inspiration. This time, less about women's issues (although they creep in now and then) and more about writing, publishing and aging. Over time I've learned it's far more satisfying to write from the heart than to worry whether my posts generate a certain number of likes, restacks or comments. Those are not accurate measures of either my self-worth or the quality of my posts.
But if any readers yearn to be influenced by my fashion choices (t-shirts, stretchy pants and tennis shoes) or where I like to eat (at home, mostly, with food I've cooked myself), have at it. (Just no resumes, please!) 😂
I am sooooooo glad that you decided to write this piece and share it, Kristi! I can only imagine the flooded email box that you had during that time...resumes?! Sheesh, that one I never would have thunk, lol 🤣🤣 I don't think you sound bitchy at all, by the way. You sound truthful about your experience and the many layers that came with it that people likely have never considered. I had someone tell me once while I was still on IG that I was becoming an influencer and that title never resonated with me. On May 1, 2025, I quietly celebrated one full year of being off of IG and FB...sounds like you and I are aligned (as always!) that we choose not to wear the often-coveted crown of influencer. 👑Let's just continue being ourselves and see where that journey takes us! Much love to you, Kristi, and big hugs! 🫂🩵
I knew you'd relate to this, Deanna. It can be overwhelming for sure!
When I sold my domain name, Jamaica My Way, I sold the IG and Facebook groups with it. Although it was sad because it felt like letting my life's work go, I do NOT regret how it freed up my mind and heart to let it go.
Congrats on your one year free! I would have thought for sure you'd be on IG because of your business. Good for you!
It never bothered me, because I'm a silent witness, and the older I get the more pathetic and childish, it was bad enough when I was 13, now it's bloody worse/better, I understand this new kinda thing in perspective, but I've got nothing to say to anyone, basically I don't give a shit, but doooont, bloody technology, I never understood it anyway, stick me in a forest and I'll know everything like the back of my hand, put me back into sssssssociety, absolutely prisoner of space and perception, x
Wonderful, heartfelt piece. I’ve never influenced anyone except maybe my kids. I’m hoping to become a comedy influencer on social media because as much as I love the Substack community I can’t make a living here.
So interesting to read about your history. Glad you found yourself here on Substack, and hopefully it will remain a fit for you for year to come!
Thanks Sue. Yeah, my past life has been a real mixed bag that I do not regret! It's been a great but sometimes frustrating ride 😁
Thank you for this. I’ve been rereading my journals from 7 years ago as part of a project. It’s amazing to see how often I wrote (in my journal) about starting/writing a blog. And yet, it took me another 6 years to even start. After reading your post I realize it likely was from some idea that I needed to do it a certain way (the “right way”) vs sharing my passion out in the open. Even though at the time I had nothing that I needed to build an audience for, I was making it about those imaginary people and not me.
Oh Maghan, that's interesting you were creating an audience in your heard before even starting your blog. I think lots of people get stuck in that same spot. They wonder "What would the people want to read?" rather than just writing what they want and letting the audience like it or leave it.
I hope your ideas have changed now!
I so appreciate your honesty, humility, and horror (rightfully so) and just a straight up inside peek into that side of the influencer business. I try to remind myself every time I choose NOT to post on Instagram that I have that choice because it’s not the lifeblood of my business. All jobs have trade offs, especially the unintentional ones!
Thanks for sharing this perspective. I'm feeling called to share my travel experiences and yet I can feel a heavy resistance. I think this is one of my fears. I know that I need to set some strong boundaries. Did you ever make a digital product to direct questions to?
Yes, eventually I made MANY things to direct them. It took a few years to figure it all out but I ended up turning all of my experiences into a pretty awesome business and lifestyle with many sources of income. I'm actually putting together a resource now for others to use.
Maybe you're just too approachable! Thanks for sharing this perspective, it's so interesting. I traveled for years and apart from a few group emails, all my notes went into personal journals and photos into albums (some on Facebook, but I don't have any Facebook friends I haven't met at least once).
Not sure if it's better - sometimes it feels a bit selfish not to share, or self-indulgent maybe. But it's different.
Now I pull out the stories for Substack once in a while, which is also probably self-indulgent, but maybe they're interesting to someone else...
I guess if I was blogging every step of the way, there are many things I wouldn't have done, even if I'm willing to tell the stories now?
Haha Shoni, I think that statement should be the other way around. You can blog every step of the way and do questionable things but never tell anyone 😁 I was far from "behaved" in my travels. I just never shared most of that lol.
Maybe you'll share them with the benefit of hindsight too then....?
I don't think I'll ever share them to other humans 😁
Hahaha fair enough 🤫
I can imagine it was hard. I am a traveller, but usually stay in the new country for a long time. A serial local, if you will 😉 This part: "and we both understood how lonely it can be living in a different country." resonated with me. I wrote about it a few weeks ago, but in the context of being self-employed. Loneliness is a killer!
Maggie, thanks for your insight. If you're a serial mover I bet it's even more difficult that just moving to a new place once. At least when I moved, my neighbor was also an expat. But you keep moving. That sounds like an awesome habit but I understand the loneliness factor.
I did it for years, kind of by accident. Now I'm living happily in Uruguay and staying. I don't think I got another move in me 😅
This one resonated with me loud and clear! I knew I was outta my “living a good life” place when every moment was spent looking around for blog photo possibilities. Yuck
Up to a point, my knitting and fiber blog served its purpose… I was alone in a new town, and didn’t know how to meet others with similar interests. I began a knitting blog, and began connecting with people from all over the US. It was fun! Until it wasn’t.
I’ve taken all that down off line now, just tossed it away. I’m still close friends with a few people I met then, and I’m grateful for that.
Sounds like we had similar journeys. I sold my trade name and all the socials with it, and currently live a normal life lol. But I still have many of my online friends I met along the way!
As a performer, I am constantly asked how’d I “get this gig” and how I “sing like that.”
When I tell the truth, most people run… or laugh. Or ask for lessons lol.
The amount of hours and money and lessons and study and networking I have done and do (by the way it’s not enough) is more than most people could ever understand.
I so totally understand what you mean.
Also, I must admit I do like the “journey” to the “destination”.
The hours of study, the money pit of gear, the set lists and endless learning of new songs.
Even with blogging I enjoy the research and writing and photography and the backend tech stuff and def social media, too.
Sometimes I think the career in the arts set me up perfectly for this version of work, too.
You know what? I loved the journey as well. Still do. I sometimes surprise myself at what I'm willing to figure out just to see if I can. Also, you blow me away daily with the stuff you know. YOu're a fountain!
Someday you can sing for me!
Oh my goodness I think that about YOU! And def will sing for you. Sooner than later.
I really enjoy reading your personal side of things, Kristi. There is definitely a line between connecting with an author/blogger/traveler and they way some people think you are fair game for helping them out, each one, individually. Though I think this says a LOT about how people connect with your writing!
You're right on both points. Of course it's flattering but also overwhelming.
I tried thinking of it from their perspective...they probably thought they were the only one to ever email a question. So, I'd frequently reply and gently let them know that I've had 29 other emails the same day and I can't possibly answer them all. Ugh...I used to feel like such a shithead for rejecting them.
Yo, I get it. The side of my career I don't talk about as much on here (yet?) is my work as a publisher. People will send me unsolicited manuscripts all the time. (And clearly didn't see, or ignored, the "no unsolicited submissions" part of the site.) I feel like a shithead rejecting them too. It only works a teeny little bit to remind myself that I didn't ask them to send me their stuff in the first place.
Yup. You get it. When I received resumes (🙄) I wondered how those people ever make it through day to day life lol.
In fairness ... people make me wonder this a LOT.
Deanna's post also resonated with me for exactly the same reason. People wanted my knowledge of living in Costa Rica and what I knew (as if I was their travel agent!). As a very giving person, I was happy to provide. But it took up a lot of my time and after a while, I felt a little 'used' that they didn't even consider coming to my hotel, etc. 😞
Yessss! I remember that sinking feeling of so much take but no give. It was such a spotlight on the nature of people.
I blogged (voluntarily, i.e., for no compensation) for an international volunteer organization from 2009-2014. Like you Kristi, my intent was to be an educator, to open a window on global issues affecting women and girls and what we could do to address them. I wanted to influence the awareness and choices of my readers regarding those issues, but I had zero desire to be an "influencer" as it's defined today.
I still don't have that desire. Now, as then, my Substack is focused on education and inspiration. This time, less about women's issues (although they creep in now and then) and more about writing, publishing and aging. Over time I've learned it's far more satisfying to write from the heart than to worry whether my posts generate a certain number of likes, restacks or comments. Those are not accurate measures of either my self-worth or the quality of my posts.
But if any readers yearn to be influenced by my fashion choices (t-shirts, stretchy pants and tennis shoes) or where I like to eat (at home, mostly, with food I've cooked myself), have at it. (Just no resumes, please!) 😂
Wow, so weird the request!!!! I can't imagine!!!
I am sooooooo glad that you decided to write this piece and share it, Kristi! I can only imagine the flooded email box that you had during that time...resumes?! Sheesh, that one I never would have thunk, lol 🤣🤣 I don't think you sound bitchy at all, by the way. You sound truthful about your experience and the many layers that came with it that people likely have never considered. I had someone tell me once while I was still on IG that I was becoming an influencer and that title never resonated with me. On May 1, 2025, I quietly celebrated one full year of being off of IG and FB...sounds like you and I are aligned (as always!) that we choose not to wear the often-coveted crown of influencer. 👑Let's just continue being ourselves and see where that journey takes us! Much love to you, Kristi, and big hugs! 🫂🩵
I knew you'd relate to this, Deanna. It can be overwhelming for sure!
When I sold my domain name, Jamaica My Way, I sold the IG and Facebook groups with it. Although it was sad because it felt like letting my life's work go, I do NOT regret how it freed up my mind and heart to let it go.
Congrats on your one year free! I would have thought for sure you'd be on IG because of your business. Good for you!
It never bothered me, because I'm a silent witness, and the older I get the more pathetic and childish, it was bad enough when I was 13, now it's bloody worse/better, I understand this new kinda thing in perspective, but I've got nothing to say to anyone, basically I don't give a shit, but doooont, bloody technology, I never understood it anyway, stick me in a forest and I'll know everything like the back of my hand, put me back into sssssssociety, absolutely prisoner of space and perception, x
Not only have I never been an influencer, but to my knowledge I’ve never followed an influencer.
Is that even what you call it…following 🤷🏻♂️
I guess that’s what you call it, yes! Sounds creepy but that’s what it is.
Wonderful, heartfelt piece. I’ve never influenced anyone except maybe my kids. I’m hoping to become a comedy influencer on social media because as much as I love the Substack community I can’t make a living here.
I think comedy and humor are ALWAYS popular on socials. That's all I watch.
Celeste Barber is a riot. Also Julio Janpierre (he mocks fashion) is killing it!
Love Celeste. I wish her tv show was renewed for another season. She probably gets asked by fans to do a bit in person.
Yeah she's so awesome at doing her own thing. I love how she mocks the beauty and influencer industry.