As someone who has been with the same partner for 36 years, married for 30 of them, I say with all conviction that Valentine's Day is unequivocally the dumbest holiday capitalism has ever created.
I said what I said.
Maybe because we grew up together in our relationship, that early stage nonsense -- specifically the groping of one another at inappropriate times -- got left back where it belongs -- in our early 20s. It was wonderfully fun and I don't regret it for a second. At this stage of the game, though, if either of us did that, it would elicit a full-on "WTF is wrong with you?" response from the other. I think it's called "maturity" or "adulthood" or some such nonsense, and it's part and parcel of "partnership", in my opinion. The "mundane" stuff is honestly where magic happens for us, whether it's navigating a difficult patch with each other or something to do with parents or children or anything else we come across in life. Being in the $h!t together is powerful stuff and creates the kind of gratitude and appreciation that fortifies our partnership.
What you describe is exactly the reason I would not have another long-term relationship, should the occasion arise any time in my future. I have plenty of whatever pleases me to fill my life without having to consider someone else. I've done enough of that, thank you. Besides, nothing could top this one.
Fostering sounds great, Kristi! You are not too rigid and I think you have found exactly the right way to relationship for you. 🙌 👊💥
I loooooove your response here Jennifer! Your relationship sounds so well-balanced and healthy. And 36 years? Every time I see your tiny profile picture I like 36 is your age, not your anniversary number!
I WAS married once upon a time and he was awesome. We are still friends to this day, many years later. So I know that I can fall in love lol. I just can't stay forever 😂
I think that there’s this silly idea that we all have to conform to the norm, baked right into our cores. The norm is supposed to be, partner up and then be happy.
But the idea that we all fit in that box is ridiculous! First of all, I know so many unhappy couples. It isn’t working for them but they seem stuck.
I’m a long-hauler in relationships, same wife for decades now. But, I also work away from home for stretches of time. So we both get our alone time. Nicole and I also have different friend groups and interests, so even when I’m home we split up and do different things A LOT. I’ve always thought that was one key to our success, to not rely on each other for everything and to have our own, independent lives.
Oh that's good to hear. Design tweaks are the hardest part, especially when communicating via email. You guys have a "vision" that I can only imagine until I accidentally nail it 😁
Well done Kristi!! I love you shared this right before ❤️Day.
My comment is exactly that of Jennifer’s, she wrote everything that is in my heart. I also agree with Tim, I think my relationship would be stronger if we had more away time.
However there is the miracle that we have both lived and worked together for almost 3 decades (WTF!?!?, I never thought that would happen because I don’t really buy into monogamy but that’s how it’s gone down).
I’m very happy where I am (after a great deal of work) but I deeply admire folks who choose their own path and love that we are at a time in history where anything goes.
Donna, when I learned that you and your husband worked together my first thought was WOW, you two must be close to saint-hood 😁 That's a lot of time spent together.
And your statement about monogamy just threw me off my axis. I never would've thought that about you.
Haha, you never know where life will take you and I ended up in the unemployment place of a thirty year monogamous relationship which is awesome. That’s not to say I would ever do it again. A few years ago I was hanging with my oldest friends and we took a poll to see who would get married again if something ever happened to their spouse. It was a unanimous no.
I think speaking out about this, like you do, opens the door for folks to think outside the box.
Oh wow..that's surprising re: your friend group! It oddly makes me feel more normal being my age and not wanting a relationship. I married once and have never found the same feeling a second time. Doesn't mean I never will, who knows!
First of all, your title is smack-up, LOL irresistible. And a guy who puts his hands up your shirt while you're on the phone with your mom ON HER BIRTHDAY needs some serious retraining. One of the reasons my husband and I thrive together is that we're very good at quiet, mundane companionship, spiced at random intervals with some delicious heat. It's not an easy balance to find, though.
I thought about dating again because a lot of my friends have. Then I really think about the awkwardness of 1st dates, his children, my children, no time.
I have no time in my life for something that could be another heartbreak.
That's interesting that you say that Jean, because I've also thought about dating again but just can't make myself want to share my space. Not just physical space but also mental space. It's weird when you get older, isn't it?
As someone who has been with the same partner for 36 years, married for 30 of them, I say with all conviction that Valentine's Day is unequivocally the dumbest holiday capitalism has ever created.
I said what I said.
Maybe because we grew up together in our relationship, that early stage nonsense -- specifically the groping of one another at inappropriate times -- got left back where it belongs -- in our early 20s. It was wonderfully fun and I don't regret it for a second. At this stage of the game, though, if either of us did that, it would elicit a full-on "WTF is wrong with you?" response from the other. I think it's called "maturity" or "adulthood" or some such nonsense, and it's part and parcel of "partnership", in my opinion. The "mundane" stuff is honestly where magic happens for us, whether it's navigating a difficult patch with each other or something to do with parents or children or anything else we come across in life. Being in the $h!t together is powerful stuff and creates the kind of gratitude and appreciation that fortifies our partnership.
What you describe is exactly the reason I would not have another long-term relationship, should the occasion arise any time in my future. I have plenty of whatever pleases me to fill my life without having to consider someone else. I've done enough of that, thank you. Besides, nothing could top this one.
Fostering sounds great, Kristi! You are not too rigid and I think you have found exactly the right way to relationship for you. 🙌 👊💥
I loooooove your response here Jennifer! Your relationship sounds so well-balanced and healthy. And 36 years? Every time I see your tiny profile picture I like 36 is your age, not your anniversary number!
I WAS married once upon a time and he was awesome. We are still friends to this day, many years later. So I know that I can fall in love lol. I just can't stay forever 😂
You're a sweetheart, Kristi, thank you!
You writing leads me to believe you have a beautiful heart and I have no doubt you know how to fall in love.
That whole scenario you described, though? It just screams, "Pay attention to ME!!!!!!!!!" FFS, dude.
Wow. Apparently, I have thoughts. Big thoughts. I'll stop now.
Bahahaha yup! Big thoughts indeed. I resemble that remark 😁
Ha! Up to 12 hours of “you” time?
I think that there’s this silly idea that we all have to conform to the norm, baked right into our cores. The norm is supposed to be, partner up and then be happy.
But the idea that we all fit in that box is ridiculous! First of all, I know so many unhappy couples. It isn’t working for them but they seem stuck.
I’m a long-hauler in relationships, same wife for decades now. But, I also work away from home for stretches of time. So we both get our alone time. Nicole and I also have different friend groups and interests, so even when I’m home we split up and do different things A LOT. I’ve always thought that was one key to our success, to not rely on each other for everything and to have our own, independent lives.
That sounds super healthy, Tim. I could probably manage something like that. Or a long distance relationship lol.
I also know unhappy couples who have stayed either for the kids or for convenience. I find it sad.
BTW I’m really happy with how the website is looking! That last set of tweaks really made things pop.
Oh that's good to hear. Design tweaks are the hardest part, especially when communicating via email. You guys have a "vision" that I can only imagine until I accidentally nail it 😁
That was me and my husband and it worked. The moment I tried to put him in my box it did not work.
Well done Kristi!! I love you shared this right before ❤️Day.
My comment is exactly that of Jennifer’s, she wrote everything that is in my heart. I also agree with Tim, I think my relationship would be stronger if we had more away time.
However there is the miracle that we have both lived and worked together for almost 3 decades (WTF!?!?, I never thought that would happen because I don’t really buy into monogamy but that’s how it’s gone down).
I’m very happy where I am (after a great deal of work) but I deeply admire folks who choose their own path and love that we are at a time in history where anything goes.
Donna, when I learned that you and your husband worked together my first thought was WOW, you two must be close to saint-hood 😁 That's a lot of time spent together.
And your statement about monogamy just threw me off my axis. I never would've thought that about you.
Haha, you never know where life will take you and I ended up in the unemployment place of a thirty year monogamous relationship which is awesome. That’s not to say I would ever do it again. A few years ago I was hanging with my oldest friends and we took a poll to see who would get married again if something ever happened to their spouse. It was a unanimous no.
I think speaking out about this, like you do, opens the door for folks to think outside the box.
Oh wow..that's surprising re: your friend group! It oddly makes me feel more normal being my age and not wanting a relationship. I married once and have never found the same feeling a second time. Doesn't mean I never will, who knows!
First of all, your title is smack-up, LOL irresistible. And a guy who puts his hands up your shirt while you're on the phone with your mom ON HER BIRTHDAY needs some serious retraining. One of the reasons my husband and I thrive together is that we're very good at quiet, mundane companionship, spiced at random intervals with some delicious heat. It's not an easy balance to find, though.
Wow I love the description of your relationship! That was so well said...sounds like a perfect balance, too!
I'm soooooo lucky.
That makes me happy for you 😊
I thought about dating again because a lot of my friends have. Then I really think about the awkwardness of 1st dates, his children, my children, no time.
I have no time in my life for something that could be another heartbreak.
That's interesting that you say that Jean, because I've also thought about dating again but just can't make myself want to share my space. Not just physical space but also mental space. It's weird when you get older, isn't it?
Yes it is. I just don't have the time or energy.